


Sometimes

by Shootingstarprince



Category: Original Work
Genre: Asperger Syndrome, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Mental Ilness, Original Character(s), Original Story - Freeform, SO MUCH FLUFF, artistic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 11:18:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11462487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shootingstarprince/pseuds/Shootingstarprince
Summary: Onyx Rosen, the boy who always stood out and not in a good way. Doctors and his parents were always fussing over him and over this syndrome they said he had just because he liked art more than people or preferred pencils to crowds. So what, Onyx Rosen wasn't a fan of people. People were confusing. He liked art so much better. But then, Kaden Sawyers smiled at him and said that his drawing was pretty and maybe, just maybe, two people who prefer art to people can learn to love each other.





	Sometimes

**Author's Note:**

> Idk if I'll ever finish this, but it's cute as heck

[SOMETIMES]

Onyx was sitting on the roof of the school, enjoying the cold autumn breeze like usually. This was his favourite spot in the small stuck-up town that he lived in. At first, teachers had told him to stay away from the roof, but when they finally realized that the boy wasn’t listening, they’d started ignoring him. His classmates ignored him as well and pretty much the whole school too, but Onyx was okay with that, because he had never been a fan of crowds, or people for that matter. He had always been a strange boy and sometimes he felt like his family was ignoring him too, like they hoped that they never even had him. But that didn’t matter either. Onyx wasn’t interested in people, he was interested in drawing, he had always been. Ever since he had been a child, he had avoided social contact and just buried himself in paper and pens, staring into nothingness and drawing every single detail of his room. His parents had been worried and taken him to a doctor and ever since they had accused him of something called “Asperger’s syndrome” and even “Sociopathic behaviour”. He didn’t think that he was sick, but if calling him that calmed his parents’ minds, then it was okay. Maybe he did have this syndrome that they talked about, he didn’t really care. 

Onyx had never paid much attention to the people who said that there was something wrong with him, because he knew that humans tended to be scared of things they didn’t understand and Onyx, with his bright yellow hair and strange clothing style was very different and possibly even scary to some people. Sometimes, he noticed how people moved out of his way and gave him weird looks when he walked around the hallway, but he noticed rarely. His parents said not noticing was a part of his illness. And perhaps it was, but the boy thought that it was better not to notice than worry about fitting in like a lot of others did. Onyx found fitting in very tiring and emotionally draining. He didn’t feel the need to have others telling him what was good and what wasn’t. But, though Onyx didn’t like people, he did like one person.

Kaden Sawyers was nice. Kaden was in Onyx’ class and they were best friends. They met for the first time a year ago when Kaden had asked about Onyx’ drawing and they had talked for a long time. Now they talked every day and Onyx had made a new schedule for himself so that they could meet after school as well. Onyx didn’t like changes in his schedule, but he did it for Kaden and now he was used to it. He was actually glad that he had done it, because whenever he wasn’t with Kaden, he wasted his precious time missing the boy. 

He heard the ladders creak and smiled to himself. He knew it was Kaden, because nobody else ever came up to the roof. He didn’t look behind himself to check, because he didn’t have to. Soon, a hand was placed on his shoulder and Kaden’s soft velvet voice spoke: “Hey Onyx.”

“Hi, Kaden!” Onyx replied, grinning up at him brightly. He knew that Kaden liked his smile, so he had started doing it a lot more. Kaden sat down next to him and sighed happily, putting down his black bookbag that had pins and text all over it. Onyx had always thought that his bag was really cool, just like Kaden was. Kaden had dark brown hair, sky blue eyes and dimples. His style was calmer and more collected than Onyx’ but Onyx thought it was really cool anyway. Onyx wished he could be more like Kaden and sometimes he wondered if his parents wished that too. They really liked Kaden, because he was more normal than Onyx. Sometimes it made him a bit sad that he couldn’t be normal. The only time he had ever been mad at Kaden was when the boy had tried to tell him that there was nothing wrong with him. Because he knew that there was. He was just okay with that. So now they didn’t really talk about Onyx anymore. They talked about art, space and the little things that happened all around them. The little things that nobody but the two boys who sat on top of the school roof noticed. The little things that made them both strangely happy. 

There were some little things that the boys didn’t talk about though. Like the way their hands touched sometimes when they sat too close to each other, or how Kaden had gone completely red when he had heard Onyx laughing for the first time. They weren’t avoiding the subject. Neither of them just knew how to talk about the fact that when they stood too close to each other, their hearts started racing and the air around them felt like it was full of electricity. Admitting something like that was hard for both of them, especially Onyx who lacked the skills to evaluate social encounters properly. 

“Here,” Kaden said then and handed him a can of cherry cola. Onyx shook his head and made a face. He was fancying something less sweet. He would have to drag himself to lunch today. Ugh, gross. He hated the school food. 

“Do you want to ditch English and go somewhere to eat?” Kaden asked him, smiling. Onyx thought about it for a moment. His schedule said that he was supposed to be at school, so he should be at school. But he really wanted to go with Kaden. It was strange, he thought, how he could even consider changing his schedule for one boy, after fearing any change for years. He stared into Kaden’s eyes for a moment and shrugged: “I don’t know. My schedule says that I’m supposed to be at school.”

“That’s okay,” Kaden said and Onyx could see that he really did understand that Onyx was afraid. He couldn’t explain why he felt like something bad would happen if he didn’t follow his schedule, but he just did and Kaden understood. It was amazing how the boy understood Onyx better than he understood himself. “But,” Kaden added, grinning widely: “What if we pretended that our English class was at Burger King?”

“How could we pretend that?” Onyx snorted, his eyes scanning Kaden’s face, trying to determine if he was being serious. Though he was smiling, he didn’t look like he was joking, but Onyx really couldn’t tell. Sometimes, it was a bit frustrating, trying to read people's emotions when his brain wasn’t built for something like that. But Kaden understood that too and explained calmly: “What if it was like a little trip? We could read the next chapter of the Catcher in the rye like we would do in class. It’s exactly the same, right? It’s English class, but we’re just not...in class. It’s still school, so you’re not breaking your schedule. What do we need a teacher for if we’re just reading? We’re smart kids. ”

Onyx broke into a huge grin and nodded. He loved how Kaden could figure out ways for him to do normal things without feeling anxious. He thought for a moment, asking himself if this was okay, because he didn’t want to risk having a panic attack in public. When he felt calm and nothing inside of him tried to protest, he stood and offered Kaden his hand to help him up. Kaden took his hand and Onyx pulled him up, taking a few steps backwards as Kaden stumbled a bit. The boys ended up face to face, dark brown and sky blue locked into a stare for a moment. Onyx’ lips parted, in an attempt to say something to break the silence but his voice got caught in his throat somewhere along it’s way out. Kaden seemed to be mute as well and the boys just stared. After a moment, Onyx realized that Kaden’s hand was still in his and he let go like he had just been burned and the moment between them was broken. That’s how it always happened. Kaden cleared his throat and he looked...awkward? Ashamed, maybe? Onyx brushed it off and walked past the taller boy without saying anything. It wasn’t because he was angry or felt awkward about what had happened, he just simply didn’t have to say anything because he knew Kaden would follow him and in a few minutes they would act like nothing ever happened. It’s how it had gone every other time and it was how it would go this time as well. 

Though Onyx wasn’t good at reading people, he had practised with Kaden and understanding the other boy was a lot easier than it had been a year ago. He knew that when Kaden looked at him the way he just did, he was embarrassed, though Onyx had a hard time understanding why exactly. Of course, he felt a bit weird about the whole situation but he wasn’t sure what was so embarrassing about it. He knew that friends didn’t lock eyes like that and just stare longingly into each other’s eyes, he wasn’t stupid for God’s sake, but really, it was what it was and so what? He didn’t know what Kaden wanted from him and that was the scary part. That was the thing that kept him up at night, thinking. The fact that he liked Kaden was nothing new to him, but the romantic aspects of it all were terrifying to him. He could somewhat see if Kaden was sad, happy or angry, but he couldn’t just look into his eyes and know what the boy wanted from him and it scared him. Did Kaden want to kiss him? Did he want to kiss Kaden? Did Kaden want to be with him in a romantic way? Those thoughts circled Onyx’ mind at night when he was supposed to sleep and they were there right now as he climbed down the ladder.

He got down ground level and looked up, relieved that Kaden was following him. He watched as the brunette jumped down from the middle of the ladders and landed gracefully, smiling at Onyx. He was smiling. That was good. Onyx smiled back and they started walking away from the school building, knowing that the teachers truly didn’t care enough to try to stop them. 

Onyx looked at Kaden as they crossed the road and briefly wondered if the boy wanted to hold his hand. Kaden turned his head to glance at him and then looked away quickly. Onyx frowned and asked: “Are you angry?”

“No,” Kaden answered quickly, looking back at him and raising an eyebrow: “Why would I be? Everything is fine.” He was used to this because Onyx often needed validation that Kaden wasn’t bored of him. Now though, Onyx’ frown turned into a thoughtful, slightly hurt look as he said: “You think that I’m an idiot. Maybe I’m not as good as you are at reading people but I know when everything isn’t alright!”

“I’m not angry, Onyx,” Kaden said again, calmly, knowing that Onyx wasn’t always entirely in control of his feelings and he just needed someone to be patient with him. Onyx looked conflicted for a moment, before saying: “Oh yeah? Hold my hand then,” in a challenging tone.

Kaden looked at him, eyes widening slightly and stopped walking. Onyx stopped as well, staring at him with that same determined look in his eyes, like there was nothing strange about his request. Slowly, Kaden’s slightly shocked expression turned into a small smile and he chuckled: “Sure. I’ll hold your hand,” and so, he took Onyx’ hand into his own, like it was something they had done a million times. Well, that wasn’t so far from the truth; they had held hands before, though just three times when Onyx had felt really anxious in crowds. Onyx didn’t normally like to be touched a lot, but his family and Kaden were alright. And now they were holding hands again and it was really nice.

They kept walking and Onyx smiled a bit, enjoying the warmth of Kaden’s hand around his. This was really nice, he decided. This was okay.

The two boys kept walking in silence, but it was in no way awkward or uncomfortable. They were just both lost in thought, thinking about their own things, their intertwined hands connecting them in a way that speech never could. It was almost like magic. The strange bond that the two boys had had since day one, felt almost like magic from those, in Onyx’ opinion, tiring Harry Potter movies he had once watched with Kaden. He had gotten bored during the first one and nearly fallen asleep, but it was totally worth it, because he got to hear Kaden’s commentary and see his eyes twinkling, the way they always did when he was excited about something. Kaden’s eyes were like the sky, so bright blue and somehow deep, like they hid a secret behind them. Maybe they were more like the ocean, something mysterious and full of adventures, beautiful, yet easy to drown in. A bit scary, but so worth it. Onyx smiled fondly at the thought, then frowned, thinking about his own eyes. They weren’t interesting like Kaden’s. Onyx had always thought that they were a boring, muddy color. Ordinary.

If only the boy had known that Kaden thought that his eyes looked like liquid chocolate and reminded him of the fresh, smell of dirt and grass after the rain. If only Onyx could’ve taken a peek into Kaden’s mind and known that the boy got lost in his eyes the same way Onyx drowned inside his. That Onyx’ eyes were like the forest during the winter, no leaves, just the trees, everywhere around, calm and beautiful, yet something that was so easy to get lost into, a place where you lost track of time. Soothing, yet blazing with emotions, like embers that were still glowing in a warm summer night. As far from ordinary as possible.

If only, either one of the boys could’ve admitted their thoughts to each other. But both of them, not used to being around someone who understood their beautifully complicated views of the World, didn’t realize that this time they were free to discuss everything on their artistic minds. The beauty of the World. Maybe even the beauty they saw in each other. The art of it all. 

Maybe they just weren’t ready for that, perhaps afraid that the other wouldn’t understand. But maybe, just yet, they didn’t need to be. Just now, they were comfortable with the wordless connection they shared, just walking in silence, hand in hand. Alone, but together.

This silence lasted until they reached Burger King and stepped inside. It wasn’t full, but there were a lot of people around and Onyx squeezed Kaden’s hand harder, silently begging him not to let go. Kaden looked at him and smiled reassuringly, squeezing his hand back. Onyx let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and walked up to the counter with Kaden. They queue wasn’t long and soon it was their turn. The cashier asked them what they wanted and Onyx leaned closer to Kaden, whispering: “Could you order for me? Anything is fine, just--yeah.”

“Of course,” Kaden smiled and Onyx was glad that he didn’t sound annoyed, like his parents sometimes did when he had these sudden spurts of anxiety and couldn’t order for himself. Not that he went out with his parents a lot these days anyway. Kaden ordered for both of them and they went to a table to wait for their orders. They finally let go of each other’s hands and sat down, across from each other.

“Alright?” Kaden asked him carefully. Onyx couldn’t help but smile at the simple question. It was so sweet of him that he asked what Onyx was feeling. Onyx nodded and replied: “I’m with you.”   
LIke it was the answer to every question ever asked. 

And in a way it was, because with Kaden, he felt safe and calm. He only needed Kaden’s presence to feel protected somehow. Kaden blushed slightly and chuckled: “You’re a weird guy, Onyx Rosen.” But it wasn’t an insult. It was said in such a playful tone and using each other’s full names was an inside thing for the boys. Besides, words like ‘strange’, ‘odd’ or ‘weird’ had never been bad words to either of the teenagers. Onyx grinned widely and answered: “I know. And you love it, Kaden Sawyers.”

“Definitely,” Kaden winked. Onyx laughed softly and gazed into Kaden’s ocean eyes, and suddenly it was really easy to forget that they were in a crowded place. He felt that silent connection between them again and they could’ve been in the middle of a warzone and Onyx wouldn’t have noticed a thing. Kaden stared right back and smiled softly. That smile always managed to melt Onyx’ heart and then put it back together again. Onyx placed his hand on the table and Kaden reached for it, brushing his fingers over the other boy’s wrist, before grasping it gently. Onyx grinned, looking down at their hands. 

“This is...weird,” He said, in wonder and looked back up at Kaden: “It’s the little things that make us happy. It’s always the little things. Sometimes, I wonder if there’s something strange about that. Feeling so happy, about these insignificant things. Like you taking my hand. It...what’s the phrase? Uh, yeah! It gives me butterflies.” Kaden chuckled and smiled fondly.

“Of course there’s something strange about that. But we’re artists, so there’s something strange about everything we do,” Kaden replied, brushing over Onyx’ palm with his thumb as he added: “And I think that’s a good thing. Really good. Strange is good. We are weird, imperfect, messy and I think that’s good. We’re like our own species, just the two of us.” Onyx laughed, crinkling his nose.

“Own species?” He asked and Kaden nodded eagerly: “Yeah, yeah! We have, like, our own language and things we do.”

“Oh yeah? What would our language be called?” Onyx grinned and Kaden answered immediately: “Strange. It would definitely be called strange. C’mon think about it. We speak in a way that nobody else, but the two of us, weird boys on the rooftop, understand. Our speech is like a form of art or something.”

“You’re crazy, Kaden Sawyers,” Onyx laughed and Kaden laughed too, imitating Onyx’ comment from earlier in his reply: “I know. And you love it, Onyx Rosen.” Onyx stuck his tongue out at the taller boy and smiled widely. These were the sort of moments that were the best about hanging out with Kaden. The bit of flirting that came naturally and just being there with each other, no labels, no nothing, just purely, truly, enjoying each other’s company. Their food arrived and the waitress smiled at their intertwined hands, asking: “Are you on a date?”

“We’re having lunch. The school food is crap,” Kaden replied, when he saw Onyx glancing at him quickly, not sure what to reply. The girl winked at them and smiled, before walking away. Onyx smiled a bit, looking down at his food. He was just about to let go of Kaden’s hand, when a very unpleasant voice caught his attention. It said: “Holy shit guys, look! It’s those two and they’re holding hands. I think I’m going to throw up!”

Kaden grit his teeth and looked at the group of teenagers who had now reached their table. Three guys and two girls, all from their school and the most unpleasant people in the entire town. Kaden and Onyx both looked up at the boy who had yelled at them. He was the typical, almost-dropout guy who got some sort of kicks out of bullying people. Everyone called him by his last name, Reeves. His friends were called Lee and Tucker and the two girls who clung onto the guys like leeches were named Zoe and Aubree. Reeves had the most annoying, self-righteous smirk on his face when he spoke again.

“Oh, how sweet. It’s the fag and the retarded fag having lunch together,” He said and the other four laughed. Kaden, calm and collected Kaden, never-raise-my-voice Kaden, surprised Onyx and even himself, as he stood up, staring up at the other boy, who was a few inches taller than him. No matter how intimidating Reeves was, Kaden’s voice didn’t shake one bit when he spoke: “Don’t use those words ever again in your life.”

“Ohh, I’m so scared!” Reeves laughed and pushed Kaden back, causing him to stumble a bit. Onyx stood as well and his voice did shake slightly when he quietly told them to stop. They all turned their attention to him and his heart felt like it was going to give out. His hands started shaking and he balled them into fists, so that they wouldn’t see. Lee was the one to speak this time, grinning maliciously: “Hey, look, the autist can actually speak!”

He walked closer to Onyx who took a step back, just a little too slowly, because Lee had already grabbed a hold of his wrist. His grip was like iron and Onyx felt like all of the air had been cut off from his lungs. He tried to pull himself free, but it was no use. Lee smirked: “Speak up! You scared, retard?” 

Memories flashed across Onyx’ mind like pressing the replay button and suddenly he was a child again, sitting on the floor of his room drawing, as usual. He vaguely remembered this time of his life as his worst. It was when the symptoms of his sickness had been at their worst. He rarely spoke and whenever he did, he repeated the things that others said to him. His mother was calling out to him and appeared at his door, smiling and asking: “Would you like to go to the town with me, Onyx?”

“Would you like to go to the town with me, Onyx.” The boy repeated, looking up at the woman, his eyes stopping at her neck to avoid looking into her eyes. The woman leaned against the doorframe heavily and sighed: “Stop that.”

“Stop that,” The boy echoed her, focusing on his drawing again. She grit her teeth and walked over to him in five quick steps, crouching down to his level and taking his sketchbook, throwing it across the room. Onyx looked down at the floor until his mother grabbed a hold of his chin and lifted his head upwards, forcing him to face her hazel eyes. Onyx screwed his eyes shut.

“Look at me, boy!” She yelled and Onyx shook his head, closing his eyes even tighter, quietly whispering what she had said back at her. He didn’t quite understand why he was being yelled at, but he had learned to know that when mom raised her voice he had most likely done something wrong. And then she got even louder, yelling: “Why can’t you just be normal?” Onyx didn’t repeat this time, just kept his eyes closed and whined. Then she slapped him. The loud sound echoed across the room and Onyx fell to the side. He placed his hand over his stinging cheek and stared forward blankly. The words that his mother said next were something that stayed with him forever. She said: “Can’t you, for once act like a normal child and quit being a retard, Onyx?”

Onyx stayed completely still, on the floor. His cheek hurt, but he didn’t cry. The pain was strangely numbing and he didn’t know how to feel about it. Should he be loud as well? Scream like mom and be angry? He decided to feel neutral about it and just silently said: “You hurt me, mama.”  
It wasn’t an accusation, just a fact.

Suddenly he was pulled into a tight hug and then the apologies came. His mom was crying and apologizing over and over again. Onyx felt trapped in her arms and pushed at her chest until she let him go. He rolled to the floor and curled into himself. His mother ran out of the room and Onyx stayed on the floor until his father came home at 11 PM. He had always known how to treat Onyx, unlike his mother. He asked if it was okay to touch Onyx and the boy nodded. He pulled the boy up and asked what had happened. Onyx shook his head and said nothing. They both sat there in silence until Onyx asked: “Father, what is a retard? Mama called...me a retard. I don’t know what it is.”

“It is...It means that you’re different. It’s a...it’s a pretty bad word, but your mom didn’t mean it,” The man explained. Onyx looked up. His father was, at the time, the only person Onyx would look in the eyes. The boy shook his head and whispered: “Mama doesn’t want me to be different.”

“Let’s get you to sleep. Tomorrow will be better,” His father replied, helping him up and into bed. The word, however, stayed on Onyx’ mind and kept the 8-year-old awake all night, thinking. And over the years, Onyx realized that ‘retard’ was a very hateful name and he learned to hate it.

He snapped back to the present moment, staring up at Lee and realized that he was shaking even more than he had before. Lee was still smirking and suddenly Onyx was filled with anger. His voice was trembling when he spoke: “Do not c-call me that.”

“And if I do? What’re you gonna do? St-stu-stutter at me?” Lee mocked and the whole group laughed. Before Onyx could even think twice, he had raised his free hand and punched Lee in the nose as hard as he could. The laughing stopped. Lee let go of his wrist and stumbled backwards, holding his nose. Everyone’s attention was stuck on them, even Reeves left Kaden alone for a moment. Onyx glanced at Kaden, who looked back at him and then the boys ran.

They ran out of the restaurant, out to the street, rounded a corner and made a sharp left to an alley. They stopped to breathe, leaning against the wall and gasping. They both caught their breath for a moment, before glancing at each other. Kaden gasped silently at the look on Onyx’ face. The boy’s eyes were wide, shining, like Kaden had never seen them shine before, like there was a fire lit in the beautiful, winter forest that his eyes were. His expression was somewhere between awed and shocked. His voice was barely a gasp when he spoke: “I just punched Lee Travis in the nose.”

“Holy hell, you did!” Kaden burst out laughing, taking Onyx’ hands into his and smiling widely at the other boy who looked a bit confused about why his friend was so happy. Kaden noticed his expression and kept talking: “That was so freaking awesome! You showed him, Onyx!”

“I-I guess I did,” Onyx said in wonder, breaking into a smile as he looked up at Kaden: “I was sure I was going to faint right there and then. And then I just--I don’t even know how I managed to do that, I was shaking so much. A-And you thought it was awesome?”

“Definitely the most badass thing I have ever seen,” Kaden grinned and squeezed Onyx’ hands a bit. Onyx winced quietly and Kaden’s expression turned worried. He lifted Onyx’ left hand up to look at it. The knuckles were red and there would surely be bruises there tomorrow. Kaden furrowed his eyebrows: “You didn’t break anything did you?”

“U-Uh, I’m not sure, I did hit him pretty hard. His nose could be brok--” Onyx replied, but Kaden stopped him by speaking over him: “No, you dummy! I was talking about your bones.”

“Oh,” Onyx breathed out and flexed his fingers experimentally. It didn’t hurt that much, so Onyx shook his head and smiled: “I didn’t hit him quite that hard. The knuckles just hurt a little bit.” Kaden let out a sigh of relief, but didn’t let go of the shorter boy’s hand, but brought it closer to his face. Onyx followed his movements with his eyes, raising an eyebrow at him, but said nothing. Then the taller of the two placed his lips on the reddened skin, softly, just barely touching the surface of the skin. Onyx’ breath hitched for a moment and he whispered: “What are you doing?”

“Kissing it better,” Kaden replied and let go of Onyx’ hand. The yellow-haired boy stared up at him, frozen, for a moment, before letting his hand fall back to his side. Kaden grinned at him, a bit nervously and jokingly asked: “Better?”

“Y-yeah, I think so actually,” Onyx replied quietly. He wondered what kissing Kaden would feel like. Really kissing him, on the lips, like people who were in love did. He wasn’t sure if he was in love with Kaden, it was all way too confusing and complex to him and he knew even less what Kaden felt towards him, but kissing Kaden wasn’t a thought that was foreign to him. And this time, it didn’t even feel so scary or strange in his mind. Kaden’s lips had been soft against his skin, gentle. Would kissing him feel like cotton candy or ice cream against your lips on a hot summer day?


End file.
